Way to go, Kate! Channeling your anger is so healthy. I love it. The patriarchal culture causes suffering, and I think you did a great job emphasizing the need for healthy masculinity. Though patriarchy negatively impacts everyone, women carry the brunt of the pain and ongoing feelings of shame.

I feel sad reading some of the comments on this article. Yes, not all men are like this, and yes, women can have anger issues and objectify people. But we see these behaviors far more often in men, and much of the cause lies in how men are conditioned, which is what Kate specifies.

Just take a look at our media. Even the more "feel good" and "good-hearted" TV shows portray sexism and emotional abuse, i.e., men are "players," and women are "sluts."

Great work, Kate! I'm so sorry you had these experiences, and you're right. Many women have had similar ones. I definitely resonated with your article.

Yay, more women's stories and values :)

❤️ I study abuse recovery, sex+ feminism, and depth psychology. 🦋 Creativity heals. ✍️ Words in: The Ascent, Fearless She Wrote, and The Virago. (she/her)