Just Let Yourself Feel Sad
I’m still mourning my recent romantic breakup, and that’s okay.
I often like to think that I’m “highly evolved.” Then, I remember that the thought is typically a mental cover-up for insecurities. Yes, the old ego pendulum swing.
My breakup healing process is no exception. The day after it happened, I wrote a six-page poem. Then, I created and recorded a breakup song the same weekend. The following weekend, I shared the romantic breakup song at an open mic night. I’d been determined to heal quickly.
Hiding beneath the surface, I’ve discovered a lot of shame around how enmeshed I’d become with this man. After a two-year dating gap, depth therapy, creative recovery work, releasing patriarchal conditioning, and generally, being very intelligent, I should’ve known better.
That’s when I realize I’m being hard on myself, and I have to actually feel the feelings before I can do anything positive or productive with them. Also, it’s okay to mourn. Mourning is healthy.
While my intellectual processing lept Lightyears ahead to “solve the problem” -Yes, it was definitely for the best. Yes, I will attract a more aligned partner. Yes, I am growing, a lot.- my emotional being craves to be with the pain, anger, longing, face-saving overconfidence, and eventual weepiness.
